Monday, September 29, 20081:38 PM
You are unlike any other.
I swear.
I had examinations today.
I couldn't write properly
because my hands kept shaking.
I just wanted to burst out
crying any moment during the exam,
honestly.
I miss you so much.
Even now, I'm crying.
My hands can't stop shaking.
I just miss you so much.
I can't concentrate on my studies.
I really can't.
I will read a little, look up from
the resource, think of you.
Then start crying all over again.
I have given up on people loving me.
Usually their feelings will fade.
But mine, they are forever.
I don't deserve to be loved, honestly.
I always thought you could heal my heart.
Apparently, it's not that you couldn't,
you didn't want to.
You wanted the relationship because you didn't
want to feel guilty when I slit my wrists.
I miss you so badly.
I cannot think straight.
I emo-ed throughout the entire barbeque at
my church yesterday.
I saw this guy, he looked like you.
Adorable, funny and had a great smile.
Only, it wasn't you.
Then, I started thinking of you all
over again. I felt like crying.
Duckiie almost saw me cry, I think.
-sighs-
I realized something.
Something so extraordinary.
Every weekend, Saturday, when
I'm in church. I would pray for
my friends. Those I love so much.
I prayed for R and S to get together.
And they might. Which is a good sign.
I prayed for B to find something else
he might be interested instead of gaming ><
He did, which was Art.I also prayed
for B to have a strong and happy relationship
with Shirley.( Sorry had to or else there will
be confusion )
I prayed for my LeonKor, well, things might
be fixed back for him.
I also prayed for my family.
Last but not least, I prayed for Liang and I.
I always pray that our relationship will be
forever. I always thank God many times for
letting me be with Liang because Liang changed
my life so much.
I well, I've become a lot happier.
I was starting to like myself.
Now. I've lost my everything.
Liang is still my everything but I might
be his nothing. (=
-sighs-
Damnn, Well, I'm glad that all except one
of my prayers came true.
-sighs-
Maybe Liang wasn't ever happy with me.
So yeah. God just wanted the best for him.
I'm the worst. I want the best for him.
But me saying all this.
This doesn't mean I have moved on.
A lot of people thought that.
But no. I have just given up on love.
That's all.
Not on Liang, but on love.
Because, I still love Liang with all my heart.
I'm going off now.
To those people who I told about my cuts.
Hey, sorry )=
I didn't know what I was thinking.
Bye~
